I should be excited as I am sitting in the airport, waiting for my flight to Florida. I get to hug and squeeze my grandson, who I miss every day, hang out with my daughter, see friends and take some yoga classes.
Instead, I am all up in my head. The past couple of weeks, I have miss-scheduled an appointment for a client and they did not get their session. I organized a workshop and found (too late) that I had missed some logistical issues that left out a participant. I almost forgot to pick my granddaughter up from school!
I pride myself on being true to my word, showing up when and where I am supposed to and being organized, so I am particularly hard on myself when I fall short. I hate letting people down, whether it is a family member, friend, co-worker or client. I go through the emotions of guilt, anger, stress – I’ll beat myself up in my head, come up with a zillion reasons for why something happened. But in the end, I must realize- I am human. I make mistakes. I don’t always plan for every circumstance. I forget things.
There is a really helpful book that I have read over and over that helps me get out of my self criticism hamster wheel. It is called the Four Agreements, written by don Miguel Ruiz. The agreement that comes to mind at the moment is: “Always do your best.” What does that mean, exactly? Every day is different, and therefore my best today is not my best from last week. My best is different when I am feeling most energized, have exercised and meditated, rested and eaten well vs. feeling run down, dehydrated, stressed or distracted. This agreement does not make excuses for when I don’t measure up. It helps me to be present – what is happening right NOW? What do I need to give my attention to in THIS moment? What was I doing (or not doing) that caused me to fall short? It gives me a different perspective to move forward from, which is key. I could stay in my head, or, I can learn from the miss-steps to become stronger, more efficient, more focused. In other words, more present.
When you make a mistake, take accountability and make amends with the people that it affected. Then make amends with yourself and take steps to help you do better in the future. I re-commit to being more present for what is happening right now, not putting something off for ‘later’ (no procrastinating!)
So right now, I am exited to be able to travel and spend time with people I love. I spent a good morning with my grandson. No phone, just walking around outside in the sunshine looking at birds, plants, rocks, leaves…I am present. The more I practice being present, the less room I leave for mistakes.
Are you interested in learning more about the Four Agreements? If so, please join me for a 5 part series on the book, where we will take these four agreements, break them down and discover real-life strategies to incorporate them into your every day life.
We start Thursday, May 2, 7-8pm and will continue each Thursday in May.
May 2: Intro and The 1st Agreement: Be impeccable with your word.
May 9: 2nd Agreement: Don’t take anything personally.
May 16 : 3rd Agreement: Don’t make assumptions.
May 23: 4th Agreement: Always do your best.
May 30: Putting it all together.
You can purchase your book at stores or online (Barnes & Noble, Amazon, etc) and there are audio versions available as well. Please read prior to the series. For meetings bring a journal & pen and what you need to be comfortable.
$10/Class Drop In, $45 Full Series